It’s been 2 years since I have lost my mom forever, she is never ever coming back no matter how much I need her because nobody comes back from death but sad to see that we sometimes push away alive people from our lives as if they’re dead for us. My heart has still failed to accept my mom’s demise and I believe that she is on vacation and will one day return. I have missed her every day in these 2 years.....
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Monday, July 10, 2017
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Easiest ways to commit suicide...
Today is the day I considered commiting suicide the most! Why wouldn't I? One reason to live?
I even googled the best ways to take my own life. There you go:
1) Hanging
2) Drowning
3) Cutting my wrist
4) Sleeping pills
5) Run over by a car
Number 4 sound the easiest, quickest and least painful. Enough of this bullshit, I resign from life. Thought of it several times again. Mind and heart both refused to carry on taking this pain and agreed with my decision as I cannot foresee any progress. Finally, I made up mind, drove to a pharmacy to get alot of sleeping pills, I don't wanna fail dying, and they were closed! Today was Sunday.
Next few days and weeks are very crucial, the hardest of all in my entire life. I will do stupid things and become worst!
I quit...
Bye for now!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
20 days to go...
10,000 years of non-stop torture and now only 20 days left before I free myself from myself. Okay it's not 10,000 years actually, they were only 10 days that I lived without my wife. But each second spent in her obscene is like an year.
I have stopped talking her so that I would divert my mind. It's hard.
I never felt this way before, ever. It's like if I was bewitched, there is nothing I can think of, besides her. There is nothing I see besides her. She is everywhere but I can only look. There is no me, without her...
I will keep posting here...
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Upon her return...
There was a young man in Damascus who planned to leave his country to study. His mother was very caring and supportive of him. She raised him alone through toil and hardship. And, at last, she felt that after all the hard work– she was proud of her son as any mother would.
“Ah! The joys of motherhood!” she said to herself. The pleasure of staring at this little man, who once held onto her dress begging to be carried and to be tightly clenched by her arms. She recalled the days when he was small and helpless, and yet there he was –embarking on a journey to be the man he was raised to be.
The young man’s flight was scheduled to leave early in the morning, thus his mother prepared food and all that was needed for this long trip. Her acts of kindness and loyalty displayed his mother’s endearing love for him. His excitement as a young man, and her hopefulness as a proud mother, is something we can all relate to.
That morning, she heard over the news that there was a storm headed their way. Out of fear that her son might die on this journey, she decided not to wake him. Instead she left early for the market hoping to surprise him with his favorite food later that morning.
Upon her return, she called out his name in anticipation and excitement– for she had a few more days with him before he would continue on with this journey.
But to no avail, there was no response from him.
Allah had taken his soul away and he died in his sleep that morning.
Allah Ta’ala says “Say (to them): “Verily, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to (Allâh), the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, and He will tell you what you used to do.” [62:8]
Death, as the prophet peace be upon Him called it, is the destroyer of pleasures.
“Ah! The joys of motherhood!” she said to herself. The pleasure of staring at this little man, who once held onto her dress begging to be carried and to be tightly clenched by her arms. She recalled the days when he was small and helpless, and yet there he was –embarking on a journey to be the man he was raised to be.
The young man’s flight was scheduled to leave early in the morning, thus his mother prepared food and all that was needed for this long trip. Her acts of kindness and loyalty displayed his mother’s endearing love for him. His excitement as a young man, and her hopefulness as a proud mother, is something we can all relate to.
That morning, she heard over the news that there was a storm headed their way. Out of fear that her son might die on this journey, she decided not to wake him. Instead she left early for the market hoping to surprise him with his favorite food later that morning.
Upon her return, she called out his name in anticipation and excitement– for she had a few more days with him before he would continue on with this journey.
But to no avail, there was no response from him.
Allah had taken his soul away and he died in his sleep that morning.
Allah Ta’ala says “Say (to them): “Verily, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to (Allâh), the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, and He will tell you what you used to do.” [62:8]
Death, as the prophet peace be upon Him called it, is the destroyer of pleasures.
The lonely ember...
A Musalli of a certain Masjid, who previously had been attending salaah in congregation regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the Imam decided to visit him. It was a chilly evening. The Imam found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for the Imam's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a big chair near the fireplace and waited. The Imam made himself comfortable but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the play of the flames around the burning logs.
After some minutes, the Imam took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember (small piece of wood) and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination. As the one lone ember's flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and "dead as a doornail." Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.
Just before the Imam was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it. As the Imam reached the door to leave, his host said, "May Allah reward you so much for your visit and especially for the "fiery" sermon. I shall be back for salaah in the Masjid at Fajr."
After some minutes, the Imam took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember (small piece of wood) and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination. As the one lone ember's flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and "dead as a doornail." Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.
Just before the Imam was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it. As the Imam reached the door to leave, his host said, "May Allah reward you so much for your visit and especially for the "fiery" sermon. I shall be back for salaah in the Masjid at Fajr."
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